Tiyung Dayak – “The Sour Dayak Apple” in Bidayuh Politics

For the Greater Glory of Bidayuh Politics


My boss (our field manager) came to see me that day. “Jack, I would like you to join us,” he said. 

“What?!” I asked him back, intentionally surprised. 

Then he told me the whole story. 

Ooo… itu macam…,” I replied. “Well, I don’t mind lah, since I’m a frequent angkatchawan,” I said, referring to my frequent air travel from Points A to B and vice-versa. 

Well, the term “angkatchawan” was coined by one of the unknown Britongers (the Bidayuh bloggers) last time. It is an adulterated Malay word “angkasawan” for “astronaut/cosmonaut/aeronaut/taikonaut” that loosely described the “paid Malaysian space tourist“, lah…Yes, Malaysian taxpayers (including myself) are pissed off as billions of Malaysian Ringgit has been mismanaged and flushed into MD’s toilet for this “space tourism program” in the last few years, which has enabled the sole Malaysian space tourist to enjoy his space joyride and performed some secondary school-level experiments last October 2007… Even the scandalous, ex-Minister of MoSTI (Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation) also reaped the tangible benefits from the rakiyat’s money. He too is rumored to have flushed some of the money through active clubbing, and one of the classy examples is when it occurred recently at one of exclusive, 5-star hotel toilets – where he is alleged of molesting a woman there! What a waste of rakiyat’s money! If I have to follow my instinct, these guys’ buttocks should be blowpiped with poisonous darts and dot, dot, dot! No, not C4, lah… Where got one?! Arghhh, brilliantly not said, lah!

Anyway, we’ll leave this crap to the historian(s) to depict this event in future Malaysia’s chronological history of space technology achievement. Yes, correct, for your information, our beloved Malaysia is now another step forward in space technology achievement, as SAPURA (a Malaysian conglomerate) is now begin to produce UAVs (Unmanned Aircraft Vehicles, also known as “eye(s) in the sky“) for export market… 

Now, let’s go back to my story again. Earlier, we had an informal discussion at my boss’ office, where we have planned a route for our aerial border patrol. I gave my opinion to him based on one husband and five wives, lah. Well, my boss seems satisfied with the discussed plan. 

“As the available seats for passengers are limited to only four persons, I’ll decide later whether you are in the reserve or not,” he said, referring to the number of passengers’ seats available inside the helicopter. I just grinned at him. 

“Wow, he sounds like the infamous prime minister who directly has the prerogative decision,” I sighed to myself. Well, the date to carry out aerial reconnaissance survey is still pending and I’m not so sure whether I’ll get that golden opportunity in a lifetime, lah… 

Of course, the infamous quote such as “It’s PM’s prerogative!” could be heard countless of times prior to nomination day during the (general) election, where the PM will endorse his final say whether the proposed GLCs (Gomen Linked Candidates) are truly eligible or not to be the people’s servants. Most of the candidates are hoping to be nominated and get elected, and some of them even have done pre-calculation on remuneration packages – at least to be elected as deputy ministers or parliamentary secretaries – IF AND ONLY IF they win the election (see this!). Yes, correct, there is bountiful harvest in the field to be reaped, but only few workers will be selected. As we all know and see from the past to the present, almost none of the elected representatives can match with the so-called “specified criterion“, that is “eligibility” in a true sense! Yes, some of them have professional qualifications but in fact, they are smart asses cum manipulators!

To the illiterate Bidayuh folks, these guys are depicted as saviors (well, they are not heroes either!), to whom they can rely on for help and be the role models for the young ones. However, it is sad to note that only a few of them have humanity consciousness. And it is known that some of them are not really sincere in serving and rendering their service to their own people. And some of them have their own, personal vested interests too… 

Well, that’s the analogy of angkatchawan in relation to the non-economical space tourism program that finally performed only common experiment in space… Yes, not forgetting to mention baju batek so Sibu (?!), mŭh dog ke’ut beda babu (a batik shirt from Sibu (?!), bitten by the rats – it’s a famous Bidayuh song lyric, occasionally played at 101.3 FM!). Yes, that space cowboy wore a reddish batik shirt in space while dancing poco-poco dance with his experimental kit around, lah… By the way, see the following “equations“, as it does hold similarities: 

Equation 1: Angkatchawan = the glamorous space tourism program that wasted billions of Malaysian Ringgit = performance of common, secondary school-level experiment (only)!

Equation 2: Elected representatives = non-performed representatives; indulged in active money making (?!), clubbing (?!), immoral activities (?!); etc. = neglected and under developed constituencies! 

Well, my readers out there do realize that these equations have made many Malaysians (especially the Bidayuhs) really pissed off with their non-performed elected representatives! Are we over zealous? Well, yes, of course… Are we jealous of those goons? No, it’s out of question! We will survive, though… 

So, from now on, let’s kick the (empty) can (out) and keep the change – to move fast forward!


April 27, 2008 - Posted by | 02 Bidayuh Politics, 03 Miscellaneous, 04 Money Talk

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